I’m going to switch gears here for a minute: this post really doesn’t have too much to do with anything except that it describes my perpetual state of being as of right now. I want to share these thoughts with you because they factor into everything else that I do, even my workouts and whatnot!
My life here in Nashville is coming to a close. My life in Chicago hasn’t quite started yet. I am officially in limbo. For someone who only knows one thing– go go go– the state of limbo is quite confusing, and even frustrating. I know it is temporary… soon I will be very preoccupied with the trappings of my new life and limbo will seem like quite a far away place.
Pictures and curtains are packed, leaving my apartment stark and empty feeling. My relationship has ended, four years of memories packed away with the curtains, leaving me a little stark feeling as well. My replacement at work has started, making me a bit superfluous. There’s plenty look forward to, though: new sights, sounds, routines, ideas, people. I can’t wait to experience all of it! But it’s just out of reach right now.
My time here in Nashville has been great. The city itself has surprised me with its unique culture, overwhelming warmth and refreshing levity. During the three years I have spent here, my life has changed drastically and I have grown up in a lot of ways, for better or for worse. I certainly won’t be leaving this place as the person I arrived as.
My upcoming time in Chicago holds so much promise. By going to grad school, I am accomplishing a very big goal on my life “to-do” list. I expect just as many changes to befall me there, if not more. And I’m looking forward to it, both the good and the bad… it’s what life is about.
But when you sit directly in between what was once great and what will be great, it’s like being trapped in a waiting room where there aren’t enough magazines. Because of the lack of reading material, you check your Facebook too much, leaving you feeling like time is standing still because there are no new status updates. That’s limbo, at least for me. I keep wanting to jump the gun on something, but there’s nothing to jump the gun on! I just have to wait for it all to happen at this point. Until then, I will just keep checking my Facebook.